Sometimes you just can’t force it

October 23, 2015 darlenedeluca A Writer's Life, Home & Family, This and That

I see this meme or some variation of it posted a lot: children become readers on the laps of their parents, or children who are read to become lifelong readers. And I’m always tempted to like and repost and say “yeah!”
But then I remember, there’s no guarantee. I wish I had hard and fast scientific data. I don’t. But I do have two children. One girl, one boy. One a reader, one not. I read (or attempted to) to each of them when they were little. So why did one become a lifelong reader, and the other have absolutely no interest?

Despite my repeated efforts – years of efforts – my son is not a reader. The little book pictured here is one of our very earliest attempts. You can see that it is well-worn. Looks well-loved, right? It did, actually, become a favorite chew toy.

There were a couple of glimmers of hope through the years. He seemed to enjoy Captain Underpants. Yay, boy humor. OK, I could roll with that. We bought the entire series, and he even dragged them around when we went out to eat or to an appointment. A few years later, I was again encouraged when he discovered Lemony Snicket and the Series of Unfortunate Events. But that was about it. From then on, I don’t think he read many other books except those that were required in school.

We subscribed to Time magazine and National Geographic and Sports Illustrated for Teens, and I hoped the shorter non-fiction might appeal to him. Mmm, not so much. When he was in high school, I tried to read the required books, too, so that I could talk to him about them and make sure he was understanding and processing them. He was. It wasn’t that he couldn’t read. He simply didn’t enjoy it. Unlike my daughter, my son did not entertain himself for hours lost in imaginary play. He didn’t work puzzles and create elaborate set-ups with Legos or Playmobile sets the way my daughter did.

For a reader/writer mom, this is hard. I can gnash my teeth and lament, “where did I go wrong?” But the fact is, it was out of my control. He needed more action, more stimulation. In grade school and middle school he played soccer and tennis and baseball and basketball. His dad tried to get him to play golf, and that didn’t work out. Too slow for this kid. He played soccer and tennis into high school, and plays tennis in college. Lots of action, constant running and movement. We joke about whether he’s ever stepped foot inside the campus library, or could even identify the building (he can). And, yes, he can read and write, but it’s not his personality to sit and read for enjoyment. Not his thing. Never has been.
His dad isn’t a reader, either. So, I’m thinking maybe it’s genetic. He just didn’t get the reading gene!

What’s the ‘right’ way?

October 16, 2015 darlenedeluca A Writer's Life, Resources, This and That acknowledgments, editing, spelling, writing

So here’s my pet peeve – I mean public service offering – for the day. As a writer with a degree in journalism, I do some kind of auto-cringe thing when I see misspelled words and incorrect word usage (as in your when it should be you’re or it’s when it should be its) in a written piece that’s being distributed in public. I can’t help it. When I was in J-school, the Associated Press Stylebook was The Bible. We studied it, memorized it, lived by it.
As an author, I still use it today. Of course I still have my trusty Webster’s dictionary, and Strunk & White’s Elements of Style, along with a smattering of other editing books and style guides.
Mistakes happen. We all know that. And they are a hundred percent easier to spot once they’re distributed, or in print. That’s a given.

My issue today is the fierceness with which some people cling to an incorrect usage. It’s as if they’ve seen something spelled incorrectly (think alot) for so long, that they bought into it, and now insist that it become a legitimate “form” of the word!
I recently offered a polite correction on a Facebook feed because I genuinely do want to help other writers when I can. Well, let’s just say my efforts weren’t appreciated.

But for the record, here’s how you spell that word that starts with an A when you want to thank or acknowledge the people who helped you with your book:
Acknowledgments
There’s no E after the G. I double-checked the AP Stylebook. Now some dictionaries may have acquiesced to the “other acceptable forms” concept, but I also went and looked inside several books on my shelves published by famous authors. Guess what? Anthony Doerr, Nora Roberts, John Irving, Barbara Kingsolver, Jodi Picoult, Jan Karon, Rebecca Wells, Nora Ephron, and more all spell acknowledgments the same way – without the extra E.
Perhaps acknowledgments is the preferred way of spelling the word.
Just a friendly FYI! 🙂

Happy reading and writing!

A Mouse in the House . . .

September 8, 2015 darlenedeluca Home & Family, This and That clean up, kitchen, mouse, trash or treasure

Sometimes you just need a mouse in the house. Well, we got one – or five! Ugh. I do not like having a mouse in the house, in my kitchen cabinets and drawers. It’s rather disgusting, really. We put up with it for several days, with half the drawers strewn about the house. But after multiple trips to the hardware store for traps, foam sealant and shelf-liner, we think we got ’em!
And now, I’m happy to report, every inch of every cabinet, drawer, surface, corner, etc. is spotlessly scrubbed and sanitized! Every dish, cup, pot, vase, basket and utensil also is disinfected and clean. Yeah, I’d say this is the cleanest our kitchen has been in, oh, a decade or so! And it’s so neat and tidy – everything in its place.
The good thing is it forced us to deal with a long over-due project. The bad thing is it required a week of dealing with the critters and stepping around drawers. And it consumed a full day of our three-day weekend – truly a “labor” day! The clearing and cleaning was time consuming enough, but then there was the decision making, the long game of Trash or Treasure. What’s this? Is there a lid to this? Have we used this in the last ten years? Will the kids miss this? Will we ever use this again? Do we need ten of these plastic cups from every walk/run/party/event?
We had to decide if we could part with the last remaining baby bottle tucked in the deepest corner of the cabinet. Well, let’s see, the youngest kid is 19. We just took him to college. Memorabilia? Hmm, perhaps. Would keeping it be gross at this point? Maybe. Oh, but what about the Hello Kitty plastic sandwich holder? Hey, now that might actually be cool again. That one went into the box to be delivered, someday, to our daughter . . . along with the Shamu visitor’s cups. I believe we also did retain the Anakin Skywalker cup with bulbous podracer lid.
When all was done, we ended up with an exciting amount of additional shelf space! And three boxes. One we’ve dubbed “apartment living” that’s full of various useful and appropriate items for kids living in that awkward apartment stage. One is full of giveaway goodies including sets of matching mugs along with a variety of still functional items that we envision some child happily giving his or her mother this Christmas. The last box does, indeed, hold items of memorabilia . . . little forks and spoons, mugs lovingly painted by small kindergarten hands, water bottles, cups and glassware from vacations and events that the kids will most likely pitch one day when they go through the box and ask, What’s this? Who made this? Will I ever use this again? 🙂

Next up . . . the attic? Basement? Oh, wait, I have books to write. So I’ll ignore those nooks and crannies a while longer, or at least until there’s another mouse in the house!

What was Lost is Found Again

August 17, 2015August 17, 2015 darlenedeluca Home & Family, This and That, Uncategorized Colorado, keys, lost, vacation

Oh, the little things . . . just back from a week in Colorado, and I’m so happy to have all of my personal belongings.
See, I had a couple brain cramps and missing items – which is definitely out of character for me. I’m usually very organized, and not only do I keep track of my own stuff, I pretty much do the same for the rest of the fam.
So, egads, in one trip I lost my good sunglasses and my car key, neither of which are cheap items to replace. And replacing the key would be a pain. (The friend I was with when I purchased the sunglasses would probably say the same for choosing a new pair!)

As we were on our way down the beautiful Eleven-Mile Canyon near Florrisant, Colo., I suddenly realized I didn’t have the glasses. We’d just spent more than an hour meandering up the canyon, stopping along the way to take pictures, look at the creek, explore nature, etc. After searching purse, backpack, car, bags, we determined that I must have dropped them somewhere along the way. Great. How to trace our steps and stop at all the same pull-offs, find the same rocks and scenic spots we’d been to? I was feeling pretty annoyed and not terribly bright, but as luck would have it, my husband was able to look back through the photos he’d taken and determine approximately when I’d last had them. Believe it or not, we actually found the stop, and the rock that my daughter and I had earlier perched on. There, indeed, were my glasses, just hanging out on the rock! Note to self: keep track of your stuff!

Fast forward a few days. My car key goes missing – a day and a half after I’d last driven. OMG. Trying to figure out when I’d last had them, and all the places I could’ve dropped them or left them was ridiculous. I called restaurants and stores, tore through the house and car, dumped my purse, computer bag and backpack more than once, and still did not come up with the key. By now, I’m feeling like I must be in the early stages of dementia, Alzheimer’s or some such degenerative disease. This was not like me. So I spend a couple of days fuming and fretting. The last two times I’d been to Colorado, I ended up having to replace the windshield on my car after a rock popped up and cracked it. Was I destined to have a car-related expense on every trip?

The morning we left, I’m feeling around in my purse for the house key, and realize there’s a small hole in the side of the pocket where I kept the key. I figured I must have poked at it so many times in my hunting, that I’d caused a rip in the fabric. In the car a few hours later, it hits me. If the tear had been there before, could my key with fob and keychain have worked themselves through that hole? If so, the key would not drop into the purse, but in between the purse and the lining. Would I not have heard or felt them? No, indeed. We stopped for a fast-food lunch, and as soon as I could, I wiggled my fingers down between the purse and lining. Sure enough, there was the key. Whew! Not only was I relieved to have the key back, I salvaged my reputation, and could put to rest fears of senility! (Sincere apologies to all the people I had hunting for that dang key!) Very glad to not have to add getting a replacement to my list of post-vacation tasks! 🙂

A rainbow of roses

July 30, 2015July 31, 2015 darlenedeluca This and That colors, romance, roses, writing, yellow

I don’t consciously try to put something about myself in my books, but in my upcoming contemporary romance release, Her Greatest Risk, the heroine does share my taste in roses – yellow is our fave.

Yellow happens to be my favorite color, so I suppose that I like yellow roses is no surprise. To me, they are the cheeriest of roses – and flowers in general. Summer is my favorite season. I love bright, sunny days. And yellow is the color of sunshine! (Yeah, I think there’s a pattern.)

When I decided that Jennifer should prefer yellow roses also, it got me to thinking about the official “meaning” of various rose colors, so I did a little research. Compiled from a number of online sources, the general consensus seems to be:

Red: love, romance
Yellow: friendship, delight
Light pink: grace, warmth, appreciation
Bright pink: gratitude, admiration
Peach: cheer, modesty
Lavender: enchantment, splendor, love at first sight
White: purity, honor, everlasting love, sympathy
Orange: passion, pride, enthusiasm

Peach comes in a close second in my line-up, but I have to say, I wouldn’t object to receiving roses in any of these lovely colors! 🙂

Images to Tell Your Story

July 24, 2015 darlenedeluca A Writer's Life, This and That, What's New Images, Inspiration, Marketing, Pinning, Pinterest, writing

So, I’m pinning now. You know what pinning is, yes? It’s right up there with texting and googling – new words for new phenomena of our time. I resisted Pinterest for a couple of years because I knew it would suck me in. And it has.
Can’t say I understand it all yet – why some pins have conversations and comments, why you can message some people and not others, how some boards become ‘community’ boards, etc. But I’m plodding along, discovering as I go.

So far, I’ve managed to set up 27 boards in just a week or so. The more I peruse the site, the more potential boards I think of. Have to say it feels a little narcissistic – lots of people have boards titled ‘My Style,’ ‘My Wishlist,’ ‘My Funny Bone,’ etc. – and that’s part of the fun. It’s your personal catalog, a picture book all about you and what you like! It’s a library and a shelving system and a cyber file cabinet. Kind of cool, actually. For me, it’s a little bit marketing, a little bit catalog shopping, and just plain fun.

I’m finding the site inspirational from a writing standpoint. Not just for ‘words of wisdom’ but for potential book settings and architectural features, details that I might want to weave into a setting or character description sometime. I’m also finding ways to visualize my books. I’ve found images for Dana’s lost ring, and Megan’s farmhouse, and Claire’s lemon bar recipe. I’m hoping these boards will give readers a little more insight into my books’ settings and characters – to really bring them to life, and perhaps spark more interest in them.

Too early to tell whether it will ever translate to additional book sales, but I’m connecting with people – like-minded people who love books, and bookish things, who enjoy a good cup of tea and many other things I do, including decorating sugar cookies. (Boy, has the site raised the bar on that one for me!) People who I’ve never met are liking and re-pinning my pins – people who before had probably never heard of author Darlene Deluca. And that’s a good thing.

Come join me!

Find me on Pinterest

Feeling the love

July 14, 2015July 14, 2015 darlenedeluca Home & Family, This and That birthdays, first grade, leukemia, parenting

Over the weekend I had the joy of celebrating my son’s 19th birthday. Today, I’m taking dinner to the family of a two-year-old boy who’s battling leukemia. It’s a hard thing to get my head around. And I’m feeling so many emotions – most of all I’m so grateful for a strong, healthy kid. I’m also grateful for the love, kindness and encouragement that little boy’s mom showered on my son thirteen years ago. You see, she was my son’s first grade teacher.
I imagine everyone remembers, and hopefully loved, their first grade teacher. I remember mine with fondness. First grade was the first year my son was away from me all day five days a week. Kindergarten was a half day, and preschool was only three days a week. This was a kid who I had to pry off of my legs when he was in preschool. He’d cling and cry for me not to leave him. This, of course, was traumatic for both of us.
So first grade was significant. And having a fun, caring teacher who connected and bonded with my son was a huge relief. He had a great year, and we’ve remained friends with this special teacher. Now she has a son of her own. I can only imagine the fear and sadness she’s feeling as her precious boy undergoes painful, unpleasant procedures, in and out of the hospital, being poked and examined. Such hard things for a mom to watch.
I want to help, but there is so little I can do. So I offer small gestures and acts of kindness, and big prayers for healing for this adorable kid who always has a smile on his face, and is so very loved and cherished by his family.

Darlene

Fund Tyler

At the Scene of the Crime

July 3, 2015 darlenedeluca A Writer's Life, This and That experiences, robbery, writing

The other day there was a thread going around on Facebook that asked authors to share a unique event in their life, some little tidbit that had happened to them that was noteworthy and out of the ordinary. Well, I lead a rather ordinary life that goes along in a pretty normal trajectory. I couldn’t think of anything to add offhand, so I moved on.
But yesterday I was in the bank conducting several transactions, and recalled that a couple of years ago in that same bank, I was part of a real live robbery! Ha! Surely that’s pretty unusual. Have you ever been in a bank robbery?

It was an interesting experience. I was sitting at a desk getting some papers notarized so that my son could participate in some trip or activity. I saw the guy enter the bank, and I remember noticing him and thinking, “why is he wearing that heavy coat?” It was a mild day that only called for a light jacket – not a bulky winter coat. Well, I didn’t jump to the conclusion that he must be a robber hiding a gun under that coat. I mean, really, who does that? Here I was in the small branch location of my local bank in my safe little suburb.
So the guy walks up to the teller, and at this point his back is to me, but I swing around and look when he starts barking at the teller. Clearly he has an issue. Did I think, uh-oh, this guy is a robber, this guy is pointing a gun at the teller? No, indeed. I’m sitting there thinking, “what is this guy’s problem?”!!

I exchange a what-the-heck glance with the gal helping me, but we continue with our business transaction. A couple of minutes later, the guy looks around. Yes, makes eye contact with us, then moseys on out the door. At this point, the bank employee in the next office leaps from her chair, dashes across the lobby and locks the doors, then breathlessly exclaims, “we’ve been robbed!”
Um, yeah, a little light bulb suddenly flashes in my head. Yikes! I’d just witnessed a bank robbery – could potentially have been in danger had things gone badly. I’d seen the clues, but failed to make the connection. As it happens, I was the only customer in the bank at the time.
Here’s a little fact I didn’t know about a robbery: No one can leave the scene until the FBI arrive. Yep, I was trapped in the bank. Why? Because I could have been an accomplice in there as a ploy to distract the bank personnel during the heist. Really.

So, they close everything down, call the police, and the FBI, and the main branch, and in only a few minutes, the place is swarming with people. Have to say it was a little spooky to be questioned by the police and FBI agents. And what was really interesting was trying to recall all the details about the guy and what had happened. It’s amazing what can escape you when you aren’t consciously paying attention. I gave my statement, and after about forty minutes was allowed to leave, luckily still in time to pick the kid up from school. Of course I repeated the story multiple times that day, as others were in awe. My son’s friends were particularly keen to hear the details. For a bit, I was practically a celebrity! 🙂 And I think I’ll be forever known at the bank – the customer who witnessed the robbery!

Have Fun . . . Stay Safe!

June 21, 2015 darlenedeluca Guests, This and That friends, getaway, safety, travel, trip

Hello, everyone!
I was telling my favorite travel agent about my book club gals’ recent getaway to Branson, and she offered to send along some expert travel tips for women. So if a girls’ getaway is in your plans this summer (and I hope so!), here are a few reminders for having fun and staying safe. Happy travels to all!

1. Staying Healthy — advance planning is key. I always gather up a small bag of supplies as sort of an “emergency kit” with items such as a packet of Kleenex, some cough drops, tube of Dramamine pills, sheet of Pepto-Bismol tablets, tiny bottle of hand sanitizer, handful of Band-aids, tube of Neosporin, and some sort of headache remedy.
Get your prescriptions filled, too, and keep all of these items in your carry-on. Since you can’t carry onto a plane liquid items of more than three ounces, be sure to pack in your check-bag some sunscreen and insect repellant as well.
These are especially important for international travel, because you don’t know how easy/difficult it might be to find such items at your destination and they will certainly cost a lot more (on my last trip with friends someone had to buy cough drops and they were four Euros for a pack of 8!).
In most places, quality hotels, resorts, and restaurants are going to have water and tea that you can safely drink, but do purchase bottled water from the hotel or at a store (not from street vendors) to have while you’re out. But don’t avoid water, because letting yourself get dehydrated will make you feel sick. Go easy on the alcohol. Eat meals and snacks when you get a chance and resist the urge to worry about your weight! You need energy! Feeling too-hungry in the middle of the day will zap the fun right out of you and make you feel queasy.
And I must mention: never, ever approach an animal, either wild or domesticated.

2. Personal Security — let someone know your itinerary – what are your flights, where are you supposed to be and when, hotel names, etc. Working with a travel agent is a good idea, too, for smooth coordination of logistics and records of each reservation detail. I wouldn’t put all this information in your check-bag, but a note with your name and the phone number of your next stop inside would be helpful to your airline/tour operator/cab company if your bag were to be misplaced.
Everyone knows about safeguarding your room keys, not disclosing your room information to anyone outside of your group, and using in-room safes for jewelry, small electronics, and travel documents that you don’t want to carry with you while you’re “out and about.” Never leave your purse, camera, or phone unattended. A cross-body bag that you can hold in front of you is the best accessory to take.
Stay together as best you can, and wear comfortable shoes that you could run in to escape a mugger or pickpocket. People romance about the idea of getting “off the beaten path,” but seriously, it is much better for your sightseeing value and for your safety to stick with the “touristy” areas.

3. Security of Possessions — file a report with your airline immediately, before you leave the airport, if your bag doesn’t show up on the carousel! You are entitled to certain expense reimbursements in the event of delayed or lost luggage, so look up those policies on their website and be prepared to stand firm for your rights just in case. Also on that website – information on restricted items, which will certainly be confiscated if you mistakenly pack them (forget about your aerosol hairspray, sorry).
Never pack your travel documents, medications, electronics, valuable jewelry, or anything you can’t live without for a day or two. Leave your designer clothes behind. I’ve had items stolen from checked bags – new bottle of fragrance, new tube of toothpaste (!?), fancy face cream – so now I never take anything new, and I tuck tampons around my expensive personal-care products that I can’t live without (TSA and airline employees won’t touch them!).
Look out for each other – lost on our trip: a pair of sunglasses, a cap, and a jacket! If we had all been alert to check the back of a chair, glance under the table, or give the area one last go-over we wouldn’t have gone off and left them.
And last, don’t over-fret about things (lose a bag and have to buy a couple of new outfits? Oh darn… ) Maintain a sense of perspective on the very slim chance of anything bad happening – of course you want to be prepared and use common sense – but you really want to relax and enjoy your trip!

Tips from Janet McLaren, Travel Specialist
Cruise Planners, an American Express Travel Representative
972-231-0066, 1-866-592-7351
jmclaren@cruiseplanners.com
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http://www.cruiseplanforyou.com
Travel Blog: http://luv2cruz.wordpress.com
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Personal safety . . . a case for keys

April 22, 2015 darlenedeluca This and That cars, keys, protection, safety

I had my car in for routine maintenance last week, and was given a brand-new model to drive while mine was in the shop. This new car, an updated model of my own, had all the top bells and whistles, including keyless entry. You just put your foot on the brake and push a button. Easy.

Yes, it was simple, but it got me to thinking, what’s so inconvenient about a key? Then I took it one step further and started thinking, no way. I want my key. In fact, all women should want a key, and they should have it in their hand as they approach their car or a store in a parking lot.

A couple of things bother me about this keyless entry. First, it means a woman only has to have the key near her – say tucked inside the pocket of her jeans or in her purse. Once she gets close to the car, BINGO! the doors unlock. This does not seem safe to me. Sure, it gives her hands-free access, but it gives that to anyone around her as well.

Additionally, if those keys aren’t in her hand, they can’t be used as self protection, and she doesn’t have access to the panic button on the key fob. Not good.

I recently had the opportunity to drive my daughter’s car, too. Her key folds into the fob. Again, this is convenient for carrying the key in a pocket. It’s not as bad as the keyless entry, but still, it means she can approach the car and unlock it without having the sharp point of the key exposed. After considering this, I’ve advised her to always release the key and carry it in such a way that it could be used if she were approached, attacked, etc.

A few years ago, we had a very sad incident occur in our area. A young woman was abducted from a store parking lot in daylight. In her own car she was taken to another location where she was raped and murdered. Any little bit of self protection that could potentially help a woman in such a situation is so important. Ladies, don’t trade convenience for personal safety. Keep your key! And keep it handy. It could do more than start your car.